Furus Bad. Florbs Good.

Good morning the stock market is RIGD and there’s nothing anyone can do about it, so just play the cards you’re dealt and don’t try to be smart because let’s face it you’re reading this right now so how smart can you really be anyway?

First off we’d like to shout out the ecomonist forecasters missing on the CPI and the market crash doomers… call your mom today because she still loves you unlike wifey who will never get a new LV bag because you keep trying to bet against the uptrend.

Next a short story in f-furuism (financial fake guru-ism).

Here’s a furu tweeting a moonshot deep OTM $SBUX 105c.

These were super thinly traded before the tweet, meaning no volume meaning tough to get in and tough to get out.

The good thing about having 100k+ followers on the bird app is if you’re noisy enough you can bring the volume in aka exit liquidity (people to dump on).

We believe in free markets and that every man woman and child should own an automatic rifle, so you do you.

And bring in the volume Cblast did with over 20,000 of these contracts traded.

How much more is that than the next most popular 7/12 option?

495.98%!

Volume comes in and if you loaded before the tweet, your wish of degenerate exit liquidity was granted.

To actually see a 10x return, $SBUX would need to move 5.57% by the date of expiration 7/21 which is unlikely but not impossible in a world where $COIN can burn the shorts right off trader’s butts because Gary Gensler is a cuck.

The more likely story is dump on degens (who cares you are responsible for your own trades)…

Why do this?

1.) It’s a good mildly unethical way to make money

2.) Evidently homeboy owes money on the street

Here’s another trader with a membership discord room claiming he’s owed three months pay of ~ 50 - 70k which to us seems like a large range for a disputed payment.

We’re also thinking that there’s so much money in these discord rooms it’s absolutely stupid.

There’s only one lesson here: Twitter is the ultimate source for market misinformation from f-furus, macro dorks and the one bitfinexed nerd who must be having a terrible time due to his life mission of posting crypto fraud porn is looking dumber by the day.

Yeah XRP is dirty… but why middle IQ it when you can make money instead?

BEHOLD THE FLORBS IN ACTION !!!

Florbs went live yesterday and while the UI is still mid like Zendaya (actual mid) and not Margot Robbie (actual goddess)… they proved to be incredibly useful trading yesterday’s ripper.

Each minute RIGD calculates the total option sweep premium for all puts and calls assigning a score based on factors like the side (ex: abv ask, below ask, otm, etc) and then subtracts the bull score from the bear score.

Positive score over 100 = green florb

Negative score over 100 = red florb

Using FLORBS to trade RIGD ALERTS

We fired two bull alerts at 9:31 am (301 score) and 10:54 am (445 score). The price action during this time was in a tight choppy range and didn’t meaningfully move either way.

Typically we like to see a higher score of 500+ before launching a full port yolo into 0dte trades (kind of kidding)… but the green florbs outnumbered the red florbs 13 - 1.

Green florbs show the option flow is super bullish!

What do you think happened next?

The market ripped up and both of the bull alerts were profitable even if you bought and held them until the end of the day.

Now take a deep breathe in and do the thing where you are out to dinner with wifey trying to pay attention to her speaking but she’s saying dumb shit and Margot Robbie (definitely not mid) is walking by and she knows she’s there and you know you’re gonna catch hell for looking but you need to look so you squint side eye that thing like a mf and when she asks you just say something like “sorry babe was just trying to read this menu damn it’s so dark in here anyway what were you saying…”

Look at this chart for $SPY…

There’s not a squiggle diggle dangle you can draw on this thing that will technically analyze the stock is gonna go up. Sure you can do it after and damn it will even look convincing but you know who else was convincing… Bernie Madoff and Elizabeth Holmes.

Look smart or follow smart money… it’s a free country homie do your thing.

Yesterday’s Results

In total we fired three alerts yesterday with returns of 109.46% ($SPY), 140.0% ($QQQ) and 76.03% ($SPY).

That’s what you would have made if you purchased the option at the time of the alert, did not set a stop loss (like a true degenerate) and walked away to do stuff letting your robinhood account close the position for you at the end of the session.

If you traded all three alerts you spent $350 in options contracts which returned $724 for a net gain of $374.

Very cool very nice incredibly based return of 106.86% if you did nothing except buy the alert and walked away from the screen.

What’s the faint sound you hear buzzing in the distance?

It’s not the damn fleshlight out of batteries again…

Ahhh you know what it is?

The price of the brick done gone up again!

We’re still in closed beta mad scientist test mode but if you’re interested in getting those pretty little toes of your wet then you can pre-order the beta.

Wen access?

Me want RIGD now.

Sowwwwwwwy

Pre-Order Details:

1.) You pay $0 today

2.) You give Stripe your cc info

3.) In 45 days you pay $89 and get beta access

So it costs you nothing today to lock in access when we launch in 45 days, then $89 a month after.

Pays for itself in one trade unless you’re a paper handed b-word taking twenty percent and patting yourself on the back.

Editor’s Note: Given current market froth it would be the second largest bag fumble of all time if Stripe does not announce plans to go public immediately. Stripe would then rank #1 and #2 of all-time followed by Victor Oladipo. Seriously though if Stripe doesn’t go public soon we may have a Wirecard type situation on our hands.

Other stuff in the works

We’re still working on the lottos (large OTM sweeps) and hulk mode (final two hours) features.

Did you know that out of the hundreds of options sweeps per day on $SPY and $QQQ that you can count on your fingers and toes how many are bought above the ask (aggressively bullish or bearish).

So when they fire hot and heavy it’s worth paying attention to… yesterday’s that we watched but did not trade went 4x 😭

Of course the next time we follow it will be a 0%.

Stay frosty

thanks for reading THE REPORT by RIGD AI

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